My toddler is in your class for 3 weeks and still doesn’t speak!!! Whyyyy????

Sounds familiar? Ever had those anxious parents that wonder why their child doesn’t speak English fluently yet after having been with you for a few weeks? Ok, maybe not fluent, but at least being able to communicate without problems in case they would go on holidays to England now? Ok maybe no conversation, but at least a few useful sentences?

Honey, your 3 year old daughter has been with me for 3 lessons … No, she can’t order a menu at the restaurant in England yet and no, she also can’t ask for directions!

The child barely speaks its first language anywhere near well, but parents want you to teach them the entire English language in a couple of months, because you can perform miracles :o

I know, it’s exaggerated, jokes aside (well, I have heard of some parents actually really being that way!) , but you will have this question popping up sooner or later:
“Why doesn’t my child speak yet?”

When parents ask me this , I always ask them back “How long did it take your child to speak your language right now” – 3,4,5 years … “ And how many hours per day and night did you speak this language with him?” – All the time … “ Well, there you go!” 

I usually avoid those conversations by setting things straight right at the beginning. I tell them what they can expect from their child at what stage and I tell them from the beginning that it is probable that your child will not talk to you for the first half year or even a year, because in the children’s heads they make the connection between the language and the person speaking that language and even the place where it is spoken, so mum and dad and at home are not connected with English in their world – unless you do speak English with your child ;)

Bilingual children (no matter which languages) have a slight advantage. They grew up with the understanding that there are more than one language. The neurons are wired in a different way. So it seems to be easier for them. But still, that doesn't mean that they will learn the language in 3 months.

So don’t worry too much if a small child is not talking at home. You shouldn’t even worry if he doesn’t talk to you for a while. The goal is to initiate them to the English language, making them familiar with the sounds of the language and try to make them understand. They understand what you said in English, that’s already awesome!

I would like to give you an example of this one girl I once had in my course when I began to teach small children. She was a really lovely little girl and her mother wanted me to teach her because I was also teaching her older brother and it was going really well with him. However, this little girl was nothing like her brother (she was also 3 years younger ;) ). She didn't want to do anything. Literally!  She would neither speak, nor participate, nor even move! She would just sit in the corner and watch us. I started to wonder really why she is never joining the games. I tried everything, nothing helped. She was only comfortable in her little corner. After a few months I talked to the parents and proposed them to find another teacher. Maybe she doesn't click with me, you never know. But the parents didn't want that, because they saw what results I got with the brother. So I said ok, let's wait maybe 1-2 weeks and then think again. The little girl heard our conversation though and it seems like she got scared that she would have to leave the English group. And the next week the parents came to the class and asked me what I had done to their daughter. She suddenly started to speak at home like crazy. They told me they were eating family dinner and she started to say things like "this is a fork, this is ...". And she told them a whole lot of English words. They were shocked and I was shocked even more, because to my astonishment she even used words I never thought she had kept in her mind. From then on she would always sit next to me instead of the corner and not leave my side.

So sometimes it may just be the character of the child. In order to learn this little girl simply wanted to watch others from far and needed to be left alone. Her level was exactly the same as the other children that participated actively. 

When the child is ready, it will start to speak. For some it may be right away, for others it may take a few weeks or months, for other it may even take longer. It all depends on the child’s character and development. And there, each student will be different J